


Last night

by EllsKay



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Last night at Watford, Leaver's ball, M/M, Secrets are Revealed, Simon is persistent, SnowBaz, baz is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 05:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10353633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllsKay/pseuds/EllsKay
Summary: It's the night of the Leaver's Ball. Simon, realizing it's their last night as roommates, tries to talk to Baz in order to resolve the feud between them. Maybe even become friends. He doesn't expect Baz to get so upset.(AU where Natasha Grimm-Pitch didn't Visit, Simon and Baz never made the truce and they never got together.) (Yet.)





	

**SIMON**

Last night at Watford. I can’t believe it. I don’t _want_ to believe it. Watford is my home. I can’t imagine not being able to come back here. (Do you think I could stay here and help Ebb with the goats? Will the Mage be disappointed that the Chosen One wants to be a goatherd?)

I’m sitting alone at our table. Agatha went to bed early. (I think she was disappointed that Baz didn’t talk to her at all during the ball. I think she was expecting him to make a move on her now that she broke up with me. I know _I_ was expecting him to.) Penny is surrounded by a bunch of teachers, congratulating her for her speech. (She managed to reach top of the class these last couple of months, but only because Baz didn’t compete with her academically so much. He seemed more subdued these past few weeks for some reason.)

I look around, searching for him. I don’t see him anywhere.

After tomorrow, we won’t be roommates anymore. I should be relieved. I should be ecstatic. But I’m not. The thought that I may not see him again after tomorrow twists my stomach in knots. It’s not that I will _miss_ him. But he’s been such a big part of my life for so long, that it will be emptier without him – that there will be this huge gaping hole in my life where he and his sneers and his schemes were.

I stand up and go outside to look for him. I don’t know what I want to accomplish with that. I suppose I just want to settle this once and for all. I mean, we were always meant to have this huge fight, where one of us would kill the other. It always seemed to be headed this way. But the day never came. And now that it feels that it may never come at all, all the caution and the hostility between us seems pointless. Maybe now we can work something out. Maybe this won’t have to be the end. Maybe…

I see him standing outside with his back against the wall, smoking a fag. (This looks dangerous. Aren’t vampires flammable?) I approach him.

He doesn’t look at me when I stand next to him. He keeps staring at some point far away in the horizon.

“Hey,” I say lamely.

He blows the smoke slowly. “What do you want, Snow?” he says coldly.

“I just- I was hoping- I mean-”

“ _Use your words_ , Snow.”

I take a deep breath. “It’s just- It’s our last night as roommates. And I was hoping… I don’t know. That maybe we could... talk?”

He sighs wearily and throws the fag on the ground, putting it out with his shoe. “Talk about what?”

“I don’t know… I was hoping that- that maybe we could resolve this- this _feud_ or whatever it is we have between us.”

“Why?” he says, and there’s a hint of bitterness in his voice. He still refuses to look at me. “Like you said, it’s our last night as roommates. With a bit of luck, we’ll never see each other again. So what does it matter whether we resolve… _this_ or not?”

“Because… Because… I don’t know! I just- Can’t we just _try_? To be- To be _friends_?”

He pushes himself off the wall and he looks at me coldly. “ _No_ , Snow,” he says, and this time there’s definitely bitterness there. “We can’t.” And he stalks off.

**BAZ**

He wants to talk. He wants to… _resolve_ this.

I laugh bitterly as I make my way to Mummers House. Why does he care? As of tomorrow, he won’t have to worry about his evil roommate plotting against him ever again. He can pursue his golden destiny with Wellbelove and forget all about his arch-enemy who never got to finish him off after all. (Even if they’re apart now, they’ll get back together soon. They always do.)

He’ll forget about me. But I’ll never forget _him_.

I won’t see him again. But I know I’ll keep dreaming of him. Of his bronze curls shining golden under the sunlight. Of his unremarkable blue eyes that burn holes in me every time they meet mine. Of his moles that I never got to kiss. Of his lips…

I slam the door of our room behind me. I quickly change into my pajamas and bury myself under the sheets.

He wants to be friends. _Friends._

I curl myself up in a ball and let the tears fall.

**SIMON**

When I get to our room, Baz is already in bed. His back is turned at me, so I can’t see if he’s asleep. I go to the bathroom and get out of my ill-fitted suit and into my pajama bottoms. When I return to the room, he’s still lying with his back at me.

“Baz?” I say.

No answer.

Risking getting punched in the nose, I approach his bed and nudge his shoulder.

“Baz.”

“Go away, Snow.” His voice is low and menacing. But it’s a little uneven.

“Baz?”

“I said. Go. Away.”

I don’t. Instead, I grip his shoulder and turn him around. I freeze.

There are tears sliding down his face. Baz is crying.

His eyes are red but they’re staring right back at me, hard and defiant. “Happy now?” he says in a quiet but harsh voice.

“Baz, what-”

Before I can finish, he’s already on his feet. “Just leave me the fuck alone,” he says and goes for the door.

“Baz, wait!” I yell and grab his wrist.

He turns at me, his eyes blazing with hatred. “Let. Me. Go.”

I set my jaw. “No.”

“Snow, I swear-”

“Baz, just talk to me!”

“Just leave me the fuck alone!”

“No, I won’t.” I pull his wrist. He stumbles forward and it’s like the fight has drained out of him. There are still tears glistening on his cheeks and he doesn’t bother to wipe them.

“What do you want, Snow?” This time he says it wearily. He looks exhausted.

**BAZ**

I’m so tired. And he just won’t leave me alone. What does he want?

He stares at me, like he doesn’t know himself. I’m ready to turn back around when I see his hand stretch out towards me. He brings it to my face and softly wipes the tears from my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into his touch. Because I’m weak. I sigh.

“Baz?”

I open my eyes. He looks at me with his brows scrunched up, but his hand is still on my face. Without thinking, I close the distance between us and kiss him.

**SIMON**

He pulls back almost immediately. I stare at him, frozen in place.

“Well, now you know,” he says in a harsh whisper and then goes and locks himself in the bathroom.

I’m standing where he left me, completely gobsmacked.

_What the fuck just happened?_

I can still feel his lips on mine. They were surprisingly soft, and _really_ cold. They only brushed mine briefly, but the touch made sparks tingle in my mouth and sent electric shocks down my spine.

_“Now you know.”_

What does that suppose to mean? Does it mean that he’s wanted this? For how long?

I need answers. I knock on the bathroom door. “Baz, open up.”

No answer.

“Baz, we need to talk.”

Still nothing.

“Baz, for fuck’s sake, you can’t just _do_ something like that and then ignore me!”

Apparently, he can.

“Baz, open up or I’ll just keep pounding on the door. I’m not going anywhere until you open the goddamn door.”

**BAZ**

I feel naked. Exposed. I just went and revealed my biggest secret. ( _Yes_ , bigger than the fact that I’m a vampire.)

Well, at least I won’t have to see him again after tomorrow. And maybe I can stay locked in here until then. So, no harm’s done.

Except, I kissed him. I got a taste of him. And now I’ll never be able to forget about it.

I hug my knees to my chest. He keeps pounding on the door, like he promised. I ignore him. I keep replaying it in my mind. The moment our lips touched. The feel of his chapped lips burning against mine. His warm breath on my face. His scent flooding my senses.

I sigh. I managed to pass eight years in his presence without breaking my façade. And I blew it our very last night together.

Well done, Baz. Well done.

**SIMON**

I must have fallen asleep with my back against the bathroom door because, when I open my eyes again, our room is bathed in sunlight. I feel the door open behind me and I fall with my back on the floor.

Baz just steps over me and goes into the room, picking up his stuff for the shower. Then he steps over me again and goes into the bathroom. He tries to close the door, but I’m still lying in the way.

“Move,” he says.

“No.”

“Snow, I’m trying to have a shower. So, unless you want to see me naked…”

Heat creeps up my face, but I don’t relent. Instead, I stand up, get in the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

“What are you doing?” His voice is steady and threatening, but there’s a hint of panic in his eyes. Good.

“I’m locking us in,” I say with determination and drop the key in my back pocket. (No, that’s _not_ a trick to make him reach for my backside. Get your heads out of your arses.) “We’re both staying here until we’ve talked about this.”

He stares at me. Then he leaves his stuff on the sink and sits on the toilet lid. “As you wish,” he says nonchalantly. “If I were you, I’d make myself comfortable, because we’re going to be here for a _long_ time.”

And he smirks at me. The tosser.

“Fine. Then we’ll just stay here and look at each other until we starve.”

He shrugs. “Fine by me.”

Well, of course he’s fine with it. He can always eat _me_.

We stay in silence. I can take it for about ten minutes. Then I break. “Do you have-” the words stumble out of my mouth before I can stop them, but halfway through I lose my nerve. I take a deep breath to steel my courage and then try again. “Do you have… _feelings_ for me?”

I expect him to laugh at me – at the mere suggestion that he could _ever_ feel anything for me but hatred. But his face is a stone mask. He doesn’t say anything.

I look at him, stunned. “Baz?”

His face remains impassive, but his eyes won’t meet mine. I go and stand right in front of him. He keeps his stare fixed on the tiles on the wall next to him.

“Baz!”

He ignores me. I grab his chin and make him look at me.

“ _Baz_.”

“What, Snow?”

“Do you have feelings for me?” He tries to turn away, but I don’t let him. “ _Answer me_.”

**BAZ**

I snap.

I stand up. “Okay, fine!” I yell at his face. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you almost since we met. Happy now?”

His jaw drops. He didn’t expect that.

“So, _no_ , Snow,” I spit. “I _don’t_ want to be friends. I’ve always wanted much more. But _you_ don’t want that. So, let’s just keep things the way they are and stay enemies.”

**SIMON**

“No,” I say, almost automatically.

 _“No?”_ he echoes incredulously.

“No.” This time my voice is more determined.

He’s staring at me. His deep grey eyes are locked into mine. He looks at me warily, waiting for my move. My eyes slip to his lips, but I snap them away quickly.

“You can’t say something like that and expect things to go back to the way the were.”

“Why not?” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“Because, maybe…” I lick my lips nervously. I see his eyes trace the movement and my throat goes dry. “Maybe I don’t want us to be friends, either.”

He looks at me like I’m stupid. “Then what’s the problem?”

“Maybe I want more, too.”

He blinks. He opens his mouth and closes it again. “What- What are you saying?” he says finally.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. I mean, I’m not even gay. (Right?) And until a few hours ago, he was my enemy.

But he _kissed_ me. And maybe I liked that. Maybe I liked that more than fighting.

“I’m not in love with you,” I say. He looks away, but I turn his face back to me with my hand. “But maybe in time – maybe if you give me _a chance_ – then I might. Love you, that is.”

He frowns. “What do you mean?”

I smirk at him. “Will you go out on a date with me, Basilton Pitch?”

He stares at me in disbelief. Then the corner of his lips curls upwards. “You’ll keep pestering me until I say yes, won’t you?”

“You know me so well.”

“I should hope so. I spent eight years in the same room with you.”

“So?” I poke his chest with my finger. “What do you say?”

Instead of an answer, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me again. This time it’s longer and deeper and makes my brain melt and my whole body come alive.

So, yes. I definitely like this more than fighting.

He pulls away and smirks at me. “Now get out. I need a shower.” He cocks an eyebrow. “And I won’t let you see me naked _at least_ until after our date.”

I try to raise an eyebrow as well but it doesn’t come out as good. “You’re such a prude, Baz,” I say as I make my way to the door.

He just sneers at me and I’m definitely _not_ grinning when I close the door behind me.

I look at our room. It’s mostly empty now, except for our suitcases. Most of my stuff is already at Penny’s house, where I’ll stay until Penny and I get a flat together. Baz’s father and his aunt picked up most of his stuff yesterday to take it to his mansion. In a few hours we’ll both leave this room forever.

But now the thought doesn’t make my stomach churn. Because maybe this isn’t an ending.

I grin at the bathroom door. Maybe this is a beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hoped you liked this little one-shot. Let me know what you thought of it! :)


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